That FourLetter Word
by Mini-Em
Summary: Brennan comes to a, for her, shocking realization after an interesting conversation with Booth.


**Okay, I will probably not have internet for the following week, and therefore I'm uploading a few fics this evening. Just so that you're all aware ;) Anway, Feel free to look at all my stories (On my page, as they usually are ;))**

**This fic I wrote after the Cinderella in the Cardboard episode (4x20) and it's about Brennan and Booth and their relationship, basically :P I don't want to spoil too much ;)**

**Disclaimer: *Looks through papers* Hmm.... nope. Bones is still not mine... sorry!**

**Remeber to Review =)**

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Temperance Brennan was sitting in her sofa, in her office. She sighed. She had been thinking about the conversation she had with Booth in his apartment, how she had told him that she was jealous of everyone else because they had that wonderful view on love. They had a wonderful view on that four letter word. She wanted that too. She still didn't believe that she would be able see it like the others did. No matter what Booth thought.

"_You know, intellectually I know that jealousy is absurd, but I see that it's real for people" she paused for a moment before continuing with a voice of a person admitting something that she would rather not admit "I even experience it myself"_

_Booth slowly made his way over to the couch she was sitting in _

"_Well" he said and sat himself down on the armrest "Who are you jealous of?"_

"_Angela" She admitted "Hodgins…Cam…You" _

_Brennan looked at him, his face showed no signs of understanding._

"_Why?" he asked._

"'_Cause you all want to lose yourself in another person" pause "You all believe that love is…transcendent and eternal" minor headshake "I want to believe that too" _

"_Hey, you will" he said moving closer to her, sitting down in the sofa with her "I promise, someday you will…someday…"_

_He raised his glass. She had smiled and clonked it with the bottle she was holding. They both drank. _

Oh, my, she remembered the night. She had been drinking. Not enough to get her drunk, but enough so that Booth didn't want her to drive home.

"_You can stay here" Booth offered_

"_No, Booth, really, I'm fine" she said and stood up, swayed a bit before regaining balance._

_Booth was up in a second to help her._

"_No, you're staying" he said and sat her down in the couch "I'll get you a pillow"_

_Brennan had a hard time keeping her eyes open and when Booth returned with a pillow and a blanket for her and she fell asleep almost instantaneously._

"_Thanks Booth" she mumbled before drifting off._

_Booth was right there, watching her sleep._

She started thinking about Booth. What were her feelings for him? She cared about him a great deal. Was it love? On some level perhaps, but she had no idea what level that might be. It was definitely more than the love one might have for one's family, that's for sure. That's how much she was fond of him. But then again, there was about 15 years of her life, almost half of her life, when her family hadn't been there, so it was possible that she didn't love them the same way most people love their family. She had spent those 15 years hating her family for what they had done. It was going to take a while before she would rebuild all that confidence she had lost. So, the question remained; did she LOVE Booth or did she just care about him a lot?

Booth walked in to her office.

"Hey Bones" He greeted her "You ready?"

Brennan was sitting in the couch. She appeared to be elsewhere.

"Bones?" He waved a hand in front of her face. No reaction but she did speak.

"I don't think I can love"

Melancholic

There was a moment of silence. Booth thought about what he had heard.

"Where did that come from?" he asked.

"I think I'm incapable of love"

"That's not true"

"Would you say I'm sensible?" she asked and broke her stare by looking at him "About love, I mean"

"Yes" Booth was confused.

"I don't think I can love" she repeated and stared out in the vast space of the office.

"Bones, come on, you can love"

"Often it is said that people who are sensible about love are incapable of it"

Both of them were quiet for a while; Brennan needed a moment to collect herself and not cry. She wanted to be able to love. Booth was quiet because he needed to process what he had just heard. There had to be some way to contradict her.

"Bones" he started "first of all, there must be different levels in being sensible, okay? You are not on the top level, at least not when it comes to love"

She looked at him, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Unless you're Mr. Spock, but in that case, it's rather self-explanatory"

"I…I don't know what that means" She wiped a tear from her eye.

"Never mind. Bottom line is that _I_ believe that you are capable of love, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise" he smiled at her.

Another tear fell from her eye. Booth wiped it away.

"Besides" he continued "it is not the sensible parts of us that fall in love"

Now it was Brennan's turn to be confused.

"Though we may have an ideal model for the perfect guy or girl; smart, good looking, kind, funny and maybe rich, you know, perfect in every way, it is not how it works. We have this idea where 9 marry 9's and 10 marry 10's, but it's nothing like that. Forget that system. Usually, all it takes is a smile, a laugh or even a glance. That's all. Then we're lost. We're lost in the other person, and no matter how hard we try, we can't find our way out. We love them, and hope that they love us back"

Brennan kept quiet. Nothing had ever been as clear as this before.

"I love you" she said before slapping her forehead "I'm sorry… I just…I love you. Okay? I had no idea why I just said that, but I do"

"Wow" Booth said. He was shocked "I thought you said you were incapable of love. I expected you to challenge me…or correct me…or something"

"I'm sorry" She apologized quickly "I didn't mean to…" but Booth placed a finger over her mouth to quiet her.

"Bones…" he started but he didn't quite have the words to go on

She looked at him.

'I have loved you for so long' he wanted to say 'I've loved you unconditionally for over a year, and I've tried to build up the courage to ask how you felt about me, but I couldn't know the answer, because what if you didn't love me, then what would I do?'

That was what he wanted to say, but he couldn't bear himself to do it.

Brennan was still looking at him.

"Bones…I love you too" he finally got himself to say. "I love you"

**~*~THE END~*~**

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